Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
