you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
love makes seman taste better
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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