Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We smell like vodka and hangover
tell me about the fingering
Randomize