Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
