me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
