Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
