Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
