i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
