He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
