Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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