no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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