doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize