i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
