you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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