its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
