I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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