Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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