Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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