I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize