I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
