just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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