The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
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Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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