she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
