i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
