Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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