Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
