my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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