around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
