I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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