Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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