Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
