once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
of course. lets lasso hookers.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
