why didn't you poke me back
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
