Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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