You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize