she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
