What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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