this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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