SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
