sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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