I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
