yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You've changed since you got that strap on
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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