Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
