why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
