I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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