Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
