I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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