I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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