i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
