i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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