Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
