umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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