If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
