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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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• (209): View more from California

  Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.

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• (909): View more from California

  I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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• (212): View more from New York

  When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'

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• (936): View more from Texas

  You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.

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