If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
