Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

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(419): View more from Ohio

She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye

(319): View more from Iowa

Wasn't she moving abroad?

(419): View more from Ohio

Are you really going to debate this?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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(301): View more from Maryland

The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right

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(850): View more from Florida

We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.

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