her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green